{"id":75241,"date":"2025-09-09T14:20:11","date_gmt":"2025-09-09T12:20:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/visualjournalism.de\/?post_type=magazin&p=75241"},"modified":"2026-09-26T08:39:02","modified_gmt":"2026-09-26T06:39:02","slug":"a-night-at-a-cuddle-party","status":"publish","type":"magazin","link":"https:\/\/visualjournalism.de\/en\/magazine\/what-holds-us-together\/a-night-at-a-cuddle-party\/","title":{"rendered":"Closeness without sex: a visit to a cuddle party in Hamburg"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n
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\n\tWhat holds us together<\/a><\/div>\r\n

\r\n Closeness without sex: a visit to a cuddle party in Hamburg <\/h2>\r\n\r\n
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Clear rules, lots of mindfulness, no ulterior motives: what an evening of touching strangers feels like.
\nBy Jana Junker<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/div>\r\n \r\n

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\r\n \"A\r\n <\/figure>\r\n\r\n \r\n \r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n\n\n\n

A few years ago<\/strong> a friend spontaneously dragged me along to a cuddle evening. Yes, exactly that: an evening full of hugs and touch with complete strangers. I felt totally out of place. Getting so close so quickly to someone I didn\u2019t know felt about as relaxing as a trip to the dentist. But as I lay rather stiffly between two women, I couldn\u2019t help noticing how happy and relaxed everyone else looked. And one participant\u2019s words stuck with me in particular: \u2018Touch and closeness give me so much strength to cope with all the hardships in my life. It\u2019s what keeps me afloat.\u2019
 
Somehow that evening left its mark on me. Maybe there was more to it than I thought at the time. Sometimes it\u2019s the little things \u2013 or in this case the warm, cuddly moments \u2013 that help us get through everyday life. So I set out to find out more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Touch and closeness<\/strong> give me so much strength to cope with all the hardships in my life. It\u2019s what keeps me afloat.<\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n

\n\n <\/span>\n <\/figcaption>\n \n <\/figure>\n <\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\n \"A\n \n Hamburg, January 2025<\/span>\n <\/div>\n\n

Participants say<\/strong> they feel more relaxed and balanced after a cuddle event.<\/p>\n<\/figcaption>\n \n <\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n

Rebecca B\u00f6hme<\/a>, a neuroscientist<\/strong> and the author of the book \u2018Human Touch\u2019<\/a>, stresses how essential touch is for our well-being and health. According to B\u00f6hme, touch isn\u2019t a luxury but a vital need. It influences our decisions, gives us access to our emotions and supports our inner balance. Even newborns benefit from skin contact, as it stimulates their emotional development. In old age, too, touch remains an important factor for health, since regular contact can prolong life and aid recovery. Then Aske and Lorenz agree to let me accompany a cuddle evening with my camera. The two run the Kuschelraum in Hamburg<\/a>, which offers various workshops and events centred on touch. I\u2019m really looking forward to it, and at last the little adventure begins.

The large period flat close to Hamburg\u2019s main station welcomes its visitors with an almost cinematic cosiness: high ceilings, indirect lighting and furnishings in which every detail seems to say, \u2018Why not stay a while and just make yourself at home?\u2019 Antique wooden furniture, lots of pictures on the walls, wide floorboards. In the cuddle room, mattresses with green covers are neatly laid out, with pillows and blankets on top. A pleasant scent that I can\u2019t quite place fills the room. Opposite the door, a large, heavy sofa stands against a wall with a floral pattern.<\/p>\n\n\n \n\n

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\n\n \"Two\n\n Hamburg, January 2025<\/span>\n \n

Regular cuddling<\/strong> can boost self-esteem and well-being.<\/p>\n<\/figcaption>\n \n <\/figure>\n\n <\/div> \n\n\n \n\n \n \n\n

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\n\n \"Close-ups\n\n Hamburg, January 2025<\/span>\n \n

Cuddle clubs have become<\/strong> increasingly popular in recent years \u2013 especially in big cities.<\/p>\n<\/figcaption>\n \n <\/figure>\n\n <\/div> \n\n\n \n\n \n<\/div>\n\n\n

One by one<\/strong> the 12 participants arrive, in comfy, cosy clothes. Tracksuit bottoms, a soft onesie and stretchy tops set the tone. Some still seem to be finding their bearings. The first conversations get going quickly, though some are still a little tentative \u2013 rather like an orchestra warming up, a few notes here and there that soon come together in harmony. \u2018Wow, I\u2019m really nervous,\u2019 I hear from the hallway. Me too, I think, me too. After the welcome comes a round of introductions in a large circle. Some are at the Kuschelraum for the first time; others already know each other. Everyone briefly describes how they\u2019re feeling. Then the rules and warm-up exercises are explained, designed to help everyone notice and respect their own boundaries and those of others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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If you notice<\/strong> that you\u2019re sexually aroused, it\u2019s important to respond mindfully.<\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n

\n\n <\/span>\n <\/figcaption>\n \n <\/figure>\n <\/div>\n\n\n\n\n

One exercise goes like this:<\/strong> walk around the room, make eye contact with someone and ask whether you may hug them. Interestingly, everyone is supposed to say no three times on purpose, to practise saying no. \u2018If it feels like a maybe, it\u2019s a no,\u2019 is one of the rules. Another is that touching intimate areas is off limits. Just as I\u2019m wondering what actually happens if sexuality suddenly comes into play, Lorenz says: \u2018If you notice that you\u2019re sexually aroused, it\u2019s important to respond mindfully. Please withdraw from the situation. That\u2019s how we keep things respectful.\u2019

One participant voices her worry about feeling rejected again. \u2018That hurt me, and I\u2019m afraid it\u2019ll happen again now.\u2019 Aske is clear: \u2018We\u2019re not here to do each other favours. We\u2019re here for ourselves, so please just look after yourselves. And nothing is compulsory. Nobody has to cuddle.\u2019 Over time, the movements become more fluid and the interactions more confident. To me, the room takes on a tangible dynamic, shaped by respect and openness. What seemed hesitant at first looks more and more natural. Every now and then there\u2019s a laugh or a giggle.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\n \"A\n \n Hamburg, January 2025<\/span>\n <\/div>\n\n

Especially for people<\/strong> who experience little physical closeness in everyday life, cuddle events offer a chance to experience touch in a respectful setting.<\/p>\n<\/figcaption>\n \n <\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n

The neuroscientist<\/strong> B\u00f6hme also explains in her book that touch creates deeper bonds in friendships and relationships by releasing the bonding hormone oxytocin. It fosters closeness and trust \u2013 in the person touching as well as in the person being touched. A lack of touch, on the other hand, can have negative psychological and physical consequences. At some point the free cuddling begins. Aske and Lorenz are right in the thick of it too. Every touch is asked for first. Some start with a tentative hug; others simply sit side by side as small groups gradually form. A quiet, almost meditative murmur fills the room, interrupted now and then by questions like \u2018May I hold your hand?\u2019 or \u2018Is it OK if I lean against you?\u2019 And I hear a no surprisingly often.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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A lack of touch<\/strong> can have negative psychological and physical consequences.<\/p>\n <\/blockquote>\n\n

\n\n \"\"\n Rebecca B\u00f6hme<\/span>\n <\/figcaption>\n \n <\/figure>\n <\/div>\n\n\n\n\n

The atmosphere<\/strong> stays calm throughout. I get the impression that nobody is pushy. Some seem to sink deep into themselves, eyes closed, as they feel a hand on their body or touch others themselves, back to back with someone or lying tightly entwined. Others seek out conversation and combine their quiet words with gentle gestures, like a relaxed exchange on a new, wordless level. One participant sits a little apart and simply watches. When someone asks him if he\u2019s all right, he replies: \u2018I don\u2019t feel like joining in with the cuddling right now. And I\u2019ve noticed I have a problem getting close to men in this way. But I\u2019m really happy here.\u2019

Groups keep breaking up and re-forming. Anyone who needs a break simply withdraws or lies down on one of the mattresses off to the side. The dimmed light and soft music in the background make the room feel almost like an island, shielded from the rest of the world. Time passes almost imperceptibly. And as things draw to a close and I sit down and lower my camera, a tentative question comes from beside me: \u2018Would the photographer like a cuddle too?\u2019 I check in with myself and say: \u2018Yes, I\u2019d love one.\u2019 And so I lie down in soft, warm arms. The body holding me is a stranger\u2019s, and yet I can let go. I practically melt. It\u2019s a wonderful feeling. In everyday life I have my loved ones around me and plenty of cuddles, but this encounter is different. It moves me deeply that it\u2019s possible to share such human, familiar warmth with a stranger in so short a time. So close. So attentive.<\/p>\n\n\n \n\n

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\n\n \"Four\n\n Hamburg, January 2025<\/span>\n \n

Besides cuddle clubs,<\/strong> there are also professional cuddle therapists who offer one-to-one sessions.<\/p>\n<\/figcaption>\n \n <\/figure>\n\n <\/div> \n\n\n \n\n \n \n\n

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\n\n \"\"\n\n Hamburg, January 2025<\/span>\n \n

Every touch<\/strong> is asked for first. Some start with a tentative hug; others simply sit side by side.<\/p>\n<\/figcaption>\n \n <\/figure>\n\n <\/div> \n\n\n \n\n \n<\/div>\n\n\n

And then the cuddle evening<\/strong> is over. \u2018I don\u2019t want to go out there at all. I\u2019d much rather carry on being a human teapot between you all,\u2019 I hear someone say as we put our shoes on. The comment is met with laughter and nods of agreement. And then everyone goes their separate ways. Inside, the world was warm and full of comfort. Outside, the cold, harsh reality hits me, pulsing frantically.

Cuddling is much more than a nice gesture. It\u2019s a way of opening up, letting go of fears and experiencing real connection. And what can I say? My broad grin on the way home is surely impossible to miss \u2013 despite the hectic reality all around me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Recommended by the editors:<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n\n\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n

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It all began in a child’s bedroom \u2013 today Oliver Schaffer owns the world’s largest Playmobil collection, with more than 400,000 figures. A visit to his high-bay warehouse.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n \r\n

\r\n \"\"\r\n\r\n <\/figure>\r\n\r\n \r\n \r\n <\/a>\r\n\r\n <\/article>\r\n\r\n \r\n
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Dirk and Thomas came out to their families only recently. Today they live together as a couple. In an interview with our author, they talk about their path to an open life.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n \r\n

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He used to march through the streets in a leather coat, carrying the Reich war flag, giving hate speeches and dreaming of the great revolution. Today Axel Reitz works in extremism prevention.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n \r\n

\r\n \"\"\r\n\r\n <\/figure>\r\n\r\n \r\n \r\n <\/a>\r\n\r\n <\/article>\r\n\r\n \r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n\n\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
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\r\n The Abortion Plot <\/h3>\r\n\r\n
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Noemi Ehrat shows abortion as an everyday practice. Her long-term project asks not why but how: matter-of-fact, calm and beyond the political headlines.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n \r\n

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\r\n\r\n Kritik und Diskurs<\/span>\r\n

\r\n \u00abEs war wirklich sch\u00f6n hier!\u00bb <\/h3>\r\n\r\n
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Gedanken zur Zeitlichkeit der Fotografie und was Roland Barthes wohl zu Nina Hagens Schlagerhit \u00abDu hast den Farbfilm vergessen\u00bb sagen w\u00fcrde.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n \r\n

\r\n \"\"\r\n\r\n <\/figure>\r\n\r\n \r\n \r\n <\/a>\r\n\r\n <\/article>\r\n\r\n \r\n
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Elias Holzknecht sheds light on the consequences of climate change in the Alps.<\/p>\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n\r\n \r\n

\r\n \"\"\r\n\r\n <\/figure>\r\n\r\n \r\n \r\n <\/a>\r\n\r\n <\/article>\r\n\r\n \r\n <\/div>\r\n\r\n\n\n\n
\n TO THE MAGAZINE HOMEPAGE<\/a>\n <\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":60384,"template":"","tags":[371,373,331],"magazinkategorie":[392],"class_list":["post-75241","magazin","type-magazin","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-familie-beziehungen-en","tag-gesundheit-psyche-en","tag-photo-series-en","magazinkategorie-what-holds-us-together"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nCloseness without sex: a visit to a cuddle party in Hamburg<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Clear rules, lots of mindfulness, no ulterior motives: what an evening of touching strangers feels like.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/visualjournalism.de\/en\/magazine\/what-holds-us-together\/a-night-at-a-cuddle-party\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Closeness without sex: a visit to a cuddle party in Hamburg\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Clear rules, lots of mindfulness, no ulterior motives: what an evening of touching strangers feels like.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/visualjournalism.de\/en\/magazine\/what-holds-us-together\/a-night-at-a-cuddle-party\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Visual Journalism and Documentary Photography\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/people\/wwwfotostudentende\/100065173703897\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-09-26T06:39:02+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/visualjournalism.de\/wp-content\/uploads\/Jana_Junker_Die_Kraft_der_Beruehrung_Zusatz2-1-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1703\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@HsHannover\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"14 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/visualjournalism.de\\\/en\\\/magazine\\\/what-holds-us-together\\\/a-night-at-a-cuddle-party\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/visualjournalism.de\\\/en\\\/magazine\\\/what-holds-us-together\\\/a-night-at-a-cuddle-party\\\/\",\"name\":\"Closeness without sex: a visit to a cuddle party in Hamburg\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/visualjournalism.de\\\/en\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/visualjournalism.de\\\/en\\\/magazine\\\/what-holds-us-together\\\/a-night-at-a-cuddle-party\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/visualjournalism.de\\\/en\\\/magazine\\\/what-holds-us-together\\\/a-night-at-a-cuddle-party\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/visualjournalism.de\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/Jana_Junker_Die_Kraft_der_Beruehrung_Zusatz2-1-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2025-09-09T12:20:11+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-09-26T06:39:02+00:00\",\"description\":\"Clear rules, lots of mindfulness, no ulterior motives: what an evening of touching strangers feels like.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/visualjournalism.de\\\/en\\\/magazine\\\/what-holds-us-together\\\/a-night-at-a-cuddle-party\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/visualjournalism.de\\\/en\\\/magazine\\\/what-holds-us-together\\\/a-night-at-a-cuddle-party\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/visualjournalism.de\\\/en\\\/magazine\\\/what-holds-us-together\\\/a-night-at-a-cuddle-party\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/visualjournalism.de\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/Jana_Junker_Die_Kraft_der_Beruehrung_Zusatz2-1-scaled.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/visualjournalism.de\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/Jana_Junker_Die_Kraft_der_Beruehrung_Zusatz2-1-scaled.jpg\",\"width\":2560,\"height\":1703,\"caption\":\"A group of people cuddling; in the foreground a man holds a woman in his arms. 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