Seven days of silence. No phone or laptop, no human interaction. Meditating, eating and sleeping are allowed: what sounds like a punishment is sold as a spiritual retreat. A week-long silent retreat costs at least €900 – with no upper limit. Money that most 21-year-olds hardly have to spare for keeping quiet.

Dutch dancer Samina Soull had neither the money nor the privilege of travelling when she first thought about a silent retreat. At the time, the 21-year-old was living deep in the Swedish forest, on the campus of a dance school not far from Stockholm. In February 2020, a project week there gave her time to try something new. Her tutors didn’t mind exactly what she did – as long as she could get something out of the
project for her personal development. Samina spontaneously decided to go silent on her own. No high costs – but also no professional support.

What were your days like during the silent week?

In the morning I meditated and had breakfast. Then I went for long walks in the forest. After that I danced and played without music in one of the dance studios. Like a small child, I took balls and sticks and just played. Later I ate again, meditated and wrote. I wrote gratitude lists, things that add value to my life, or my goals for the future. I often went to bed as early as eight and then woke up again early in the morning.

How did you feel in the first few days?

At first I was busy obsessively sticking to the rules. Time passed incredibly slowly. I was overwhelmed by all the time I suddenly had. Especially in the evenings, I noticed how often I usually sit in front of some screen or other. I cried a lot on my walks in the forest – my body probably had no other outlet for processing all those emotions. On top of that, I was alone with my thoughts and kept getting more and more in my head. I had to realise: even when everyone is gone, it doesn’t get quiet. I didn’t find peace in the first few days.

What were your rules for the seven days?

1. No talking or making noises
2. No using my phone or laptop
3. No interacting with anyone
4. No music, podcasts or audiobooks
5. Smoking only at a short, fixed time each day
6. Eating and cooking healthily
7. No sport
8. I was allowed to read only one book (Of Water and the Spirit)
9. I was allowed to write
10. I was allowed to meditate and go for walks

When did you find the project hardest?

On the fourth day. By then I was so lost in my thoughts and so restless – I thought I was going mad. During the day I had panic attacks and couldn’t stop crying. It was so frightening that I considered stopping the project. Instead, I got help. My flatmate sat with me in the living room. We didn’t talk, but just having him there helped me.

What was the best time?

The very next morning, on the fifth day. I woke up and my head was completely calm, empty and peaceful. All that stress probably had to come out once for me to reach that point of calm. From then on I began to enjoy the project. The following days got better and better. Nothing threw me off balance; it was as if I was meditating all the time. That was the first and only time in my life that I have felt so calm.

Did the week change your life?

Yes, absolutely! I learned to take time out and listen to my needs. My friends have accepted that I sometimes just disappear now. They know it has nothing to do with them when I can’t be reached. When I need my time, I take it! And the people who care about me understand that. Before my time of silence, I probably wouldn’t have dared to stand up for myself and my peace like that.

Would you do it again?

Definitely. I tried it again for a week the following year, but that time I had to stop. I’m moving house right now, and in my own flat I want to keep silent together with other people for a few days in future. In general, I would recommend that everyone try a period of silence once – but of course only as intensely as you feel able to. You could start by being silent for a few days and adapting the rules a little. And there should always be an emergency contact nearby. You can’t know in advance how your body, mind and soul will react to the silence.