‘You have to make your boundaries clear’
During the week Selma works at a nursery; at weekends she works the door of a club. On respect, safety and standing your ground as a woman in nightlife.
‘As a woman, you don’t really have any safety in a club,’ says Selma. She speaks calmly but firmly. Anyone who watches her greet guests, check bags and enforce the rules politely but consistently quickly understands: this woman knows what she’s doing – and where her limits are.
Selma has worked in security since 1999. At 18 she was asked whether she thought she could handle the job. ‘I’d done a lot of martial arts – and yes, I thought I could.’ Today she works at a nursery during the week and stands at the door of a club at weekends. Two worlds that, for her, aren’t mutually exclusive. Quite the opposite.
‘Especially as a woman, you aren’t always taken seriously,’ she says. ‘But you have to make your boundaries clear.’ The club door is not only the entrance to the night but also a scene of conflict, of lines being crossed – and sometimes of existential experiences. ‘Once, someone died on the dance floor. I’d seen him dancing just before.’ For Selma, that was a turning point. ‘You need inner strength to say: I did my best – and there was simply nothing more I could do.’
Especially as a woman, you aren’t always taken seriously.
When things escalate, she meets people who are fighting with calm. ‘Not showing fear is important. If you stay calm, you de-escalate more than someone who comes barging in shouting.’ Often it’s the little remarks that stick. ‘You smell nice, gentlemen,’ she tells two clubbers – with a smile that also makes it clear: the rules still apply.
The job is hard going. And yet she can’t let it go. ‘I’ve thought about quitting a thousand times,’ she says. ‘But giving it up completely – I just can’t.’
